Friday, May 12, 2006
Disappearance
Whoa...it's been 5 months since I last updated my blog! Has Aileen fallen off from the face of the earth??? No...not really.. Do I hate you guys? maybe..(haha..j/k) Did the monster named UCSF swallowed me whole and refuse to spit me out? YOU BETCHA! I don't have much to update other than I go through this same mundane "pharm student" routine EVERY FREAK'N WEEK!!! Wake up -> class -> lunch -> class -> meetings -> study -> dinner -> study -> sleep. How.....non-stimulating. Since pharmacy school...life's no longer interesting...nothing fascinating goes on in my mind...i'm just...going through the motion of things. Feel like a zombie most of the time.
Career and family seem to the topics of "worry" in all of our minds. These are the consequences of growing up and being in the 20's (I dont wanna grow up...I'm a Toy's R Us kid...) With well established friends and about-to-be hitched folks...and of course..being around 100 girls EVERY SINGLE DAY..it's hard to avid such a topic (commitments...OH NO!!!). Whatever happened to being spontaneous and "I'll take what life throws me"??? Such attitudes are now perceived as "immature" and "elementary" by fellow peers. A lot of folks are obsessed with family planning and career road map. I've been sucked into this whirlpool or adulthood...and there's no way out! Every single time I tell people I have a bf now...one of the primary responses: ooo...con
grats? are you guys gonna get married??? -_-" whatever happened to "i just wanna date"??? can't a girl/boy play around??? (not implying myself..i'm happily in a "serious" relationship with a wonderful stud *wink*) Girls my age fantasize about the rocks, the wedding schbam, honeymoon, family life....the list goes on and on and on. It doesnt help w/friends pregnant and getting married left and right (red bombs on the loose!!)Uhhh...Aileen...do you have a point here? or are you just rambling? Point being that I have tried so hard ever since when i was a kid to be "different" from others...i pride myself in my ability to produce "unique" qualities. In the end...I am still ordinary. My estrogen level is high enough to make me a "female". I am still a victim of "aging" and "tradition". Maybe because of all the brain washing by fellow classmates (i call it...estrogen replacement therapy)..I now contemplate and fantasize the same things. how typical...how hormonal...and how...girly. Once u reach a certain point...individuality disappear...and it's all about conformity. No matter how hard you try to fight and be different...in the end..you just have to give in and be part of the crowd. The consequence of non-conformists....FRIENDLESS! i know i preached the "fruits of loneliness" before...but damn it...I NEED COMPANY!!! there...i admitted it.
So my friends...chat w/me about your "life" plans...and please don't forget about my existence...i promise i won't criticize!
When will my next post be? *shrug* petition to our dean and make our course loads less...then chances are..the happy and cheery Aileen will return once more! perhaps i'll be more interesting too... *sigh*
peace out folks! happy future planning!
Simple Pleasures of Life
- No midterms
- Acing midterms
- Acing midterms without studying hard for it
- Napping in class without getting caught
- Sleeping openly in class as a rebelious gesture
sup girl it's EDDY !
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