Saturday, August 20, 2005
2046
It is now 1am...I'm still awake...what in the world am I doing at this time? Nothing...just this urge to blog and talk to this computer screen i stared at for so long. Days pass by slow and boredom catches on quick when you have no responsibilities. I start to forget the details of each day...such as what I did, what I ate, and what I said. Just a blur...a blurry summer...and a haze in my mind. It is not my nature to sound all...umm.."down"...but hey..you all can use some change (perhaps I already desensitized you with my continuous "hyperism"..this ought to wake you guys up) I have just finished watching the movie 2046. It's a chinese film, which should be out as an Indie film soon in the states. I liked the movie...liked it so much that I am blogging about it. I recommend you all to watch it.
After watching the movie...a lot of thoughts are running through my head. The movie got me thinking a lot. Why? I would like to think it's because it's a deep movie and I am simply appreciating the "deep" aspects of movie by chewing on it in my mind (that or I am just a natural and a pro in "films" haha...riiight...) Possibly, it is only because I can identify with all the characters in the movie...identify with the storyline...it tells my long time inner struggles that I avoided all this time. Why am I blogging about it to let out this "secret" for the world to see? As we all know..anything extremely personal should be prohibited in blogs...you never know who might be reading. I just want to share this secret to this thing called "internet"...and whomever that might read it...I hope you can get something out of it.
The theme in this movie is this place called "2046" (no duh aileen...get to the point already). People go to this place to find this one particular memory that they once lost, and they usually stay there. Most people who went to that place...never returns. It's a fictional place in the movie...it's a place where the main character wishes to go to in his mind...but find himself unable to stay in that place (sounds complicated i know...but you really have to see the movie to find out).
The movie got me interpreting my own personal love life...or perhaps..your's as well. There's this "one" person that creates the 2046 in our mind. This person let you experience something you've never felt before. You input in emotions...and your all. It's a place of no return once you have decided to give it your everything. You might lose the person...but the memory stays...the emotions will always be remembered. You're permanently "scarred". Afterall...it's made its impression and its imprint in your mind and your heart. You often wishes to go back to that familiar place in your heart and wishes to experience that same emotions again...but more than likely...it's never quite the "same". You might encounter others in this process...some might be just a "replacement"...only because the person and the experience reminded you of what it once was like...but yet..in the end..you know u're only fooling yourself. you might give up at times and just dive into the "pleasures"....believing maybe you might be happier this way...afterall...that "one"experience hurts you so...you ache every single time you go close to it...so might as well close it up so you won't be in pain anymore. One thing for sure...regardless of how much we give up, or how much we wish to avoid it....we still linger around that "one"experience ...in search of one day we will once again be able to create another one just like it...but no more pain.
We always want to know if we're that "one" special experience to our partner. We try so very hard...because afterall...if he/she made that strong of an impression in your mind and in your heart...you wish to have the same impact as well. It hurts a lot to know perhaps you're just one of many to that significant other. We all wish to have our own imprints in others' hearts. When you know you're none other than the norm...u're just like the "others"...while they're your "2046"...it'll bring nothing but pain. What we fail to realize is that..maybe that person already have his/her own "one" experience for which they treasure. You can't expect to replace or to create a new one just like it that easily. Regardless of how eager we want to be "special"...more often than not...you'll never unlock that secret place again.
Will we experience that "true" and that "one" experience again? perhaps...maybe sometimes in the future...maybe never. We all want to give up from time to time...call it quits. Afterall...you might be hurt again if you decide to unlock that place in your heart. However, there will never be hope if you give up. Hope can only occur in those that never gives in. Regardless of how many times you wound yourself...you still keep at it.
I always question myself...am I someone's "2046"? I know I have experienced my "2046"...and to tell the truth...I'm running away from it...because it brings only pain. Took me a while to "restart"....but every single time..when someone comes remotely close...when i "feel" i have unlocked and touched that secret place....i wanna close it up again...fearing that once again I'll be wounded. I have become a quitter. When will I have the courage to try again...and even if it brings more pain...I will keep going at it like a trooper? I have no idea...but I wish to have hope.
Who's your 2046? are you a quitter? or are you a die hard trooper? Wish you're the latter....
Simple Pleasure in Life
1) Eating watermelon on a hot summer night
2) Having epiphanies
3) Watching Zoolander
4) Eating dinner with family
5) Bdays
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You have just survived one hellish blog. Thank you, the Devil awaits your re-visit..Mwa ha ha ha ha
After watching the movie...a lot of thoughts are running through my head. The movie got me thinking a lot. Why? I would like to think it's because it's a deep movie and I am simply appreciating the "deep" aspects of movie by chewing on it in my mind (that or I am just a natural and a pro in "films" haha...riiight...) Possibly, it is only because I can identify with all the characters in the movie...identify with the storyline...it tells my long time inner struggles that I avoided all this time. Why am I blogging about it to let out this "secret" for the world to see? As we all know..anything extremely personal should be prohibited in blogs...you never know who might be reading. I just want to share this secret to this thing called "internet"...and whomever that might read it...I hope you can get something out of it.
The theme in this movie is this place called "2046" (no duh aileen...get to the point already). People go to this place to find this one particular memory that they once lost, and they usually stay there. Most people who went to that place...never returns. It's a fictional place in the movie...it's a place where the main character wishes to go to in his mind...but find himself unable to stay in that place (sounds complicated i know...but you really have to see the movie to find out).
The movie got me interpreting my own personal love life...or perhaps..your's as well. There's this "one" person that creates the 2046 in our mind. This person let you experience something you've never felt before. You input in emotions...and your all. It's a place of no return once you have decided to give it your everything. You might lose the person...but the memory stays...the emotions will always be remembered. You're permanently "scarred". Afterall...it's made its impression and its imprint in your mind and your heart. You often wishes to go back to that familiar place in your heart and wishes to experience that same emotions again...but more than likely...it's never quite the "same". You might encounter others in this process...some might be just a "replacement"...only because the person and the experience reminded you of what it once was like...but yet..in the end..you know u're only fooling yourself. you might give up at times and just dive into the "pleasures"....believing maybe you might be happier this way...afterall...that "one"experience hurts you so...you ache every single time you go close to it...so might as well close it up so you won't be in pain anymore. One thing for sure...regardless of how much we give up, or how much we wish to avoid it....we still linger around that "one"experience ...in search of one day we will once again be able to create another one just like it...but no more pain.
We always want to know if we're that "one" special experience to our partner. We try so very hard...because afterall...if he/she made that strong of an impression in your mind and in your heart...you wish to have the same impact as well. It hurts a lot to know perhaps you're just one of many to that significant other. We all wish to have our own imprints in others' hearts. When you know you're none other than the norm...u're just like the "others"...while they're your "2046"...it'll bring nothing but pain. What we fail to realize is that..maybe that person already have his/her own "one" experience for which they treasure. You can't expect to replace or to create a new one just like it that easily. Regardless of how eager we want to be "special"...more often than not...you'll never unlock that secret place again.
Will we experience that "true" and that "one" experience again? perhaps...maybe sometimes in the future...maybe never. We all want to give up from time to time...call it quits. Afterall...you might be hurt again if you decide to unlock that place in your heart. However, there will never be hope if you give up. Hope can only occur in those that never gives in. Regardless of how many times you wound yourself...you still keep at it.
I always question myself...am I someone's "2046"? I know I have experienced my "2046"...and to tell the truth...I'm running away from it...because it brings only pain. Took me a while to "restart"....but every single time..when someone comes remotely close...when i "feel" i have unlocked and touched that secret place....i wanna close it up again...fearing that once again I'll be wounded. I have become a quitter. When will I have the courage to try again...and even if it brings more pain...I will keep going at it like a trooper? I have no idea...but I wish to have hope.
Who's your 2046? are you a quitter? or are you a die hard trooper? Wish you're the latter....
Simple Pleasure in Life
1) Eating watermelon on a hot summer night
2) Having epiphanies
3) Watching Zoolander
4) Eating dinner with family
5) Bdays
Post a Comment
